I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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