He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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