fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
