he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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