I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
