She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
