I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
