all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
