question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
