I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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