remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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