his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I understand Curling. That high.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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