You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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