He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
