wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
