There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
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AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.