so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
