oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.