i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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