He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!