How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember