It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
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I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
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Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.