The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress