Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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