im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
