Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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