The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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