Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
