FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
