guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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