why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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