I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
