I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
