Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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