I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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