she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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