She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
