if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
