I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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