I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize