I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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