Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
