Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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