Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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