So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
