jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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