first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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