It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
