4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
