I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
