Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
