Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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