You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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