Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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