I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
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He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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