the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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