You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
