I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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