Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
