dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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