He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
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Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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