I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize