She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
