her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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