apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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