I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
